Feels Like Home
by Realynn8
Summary: Sometimes a kiss speaks louder than words. Canon, near future.


**Hello! This little plot bunny nagged me until I sat down and wrote this little drabble. This is my first attempt writing Bellarke, so be gentle. **

**I hope you like it!**

**Thank you, Jade, for betaing this for me.**

**Dedicated to Dani. Happy holidays!**

* * *

**Feel Like Home**

* * *

Clarke was sitting by the campfire, lost in thought. They have come a long way since they have first arrived on Earth. Their start was rocky and nobody had known exactly what to do or how to do it, and before they could even figure that out, their Grounder problems started.

Thankfully she had her co-leader, who was more often than not an obnoxious ass back then, but Clarke realized with time, she wouldn't have anyone else stand beside her and lead those kids with her. She had never wanted to be in charge but everything just happened the way it did and she was. But she was happy she didn't have to do it alone, she was happy Bellamy was there beside her, to support her, to push her and to tell her to her face when he thought she was making the wrong choice.

They argued, they fought but when it came down to it, they were united. And so they became friends. She never thought she'd be saying this but he has become her best friend – the person whom she couldn't stand in the beginning was now someone she trusted, needed and cared about. She smiled silently, observing the twinkly fire in front of her.

God, they were a mess. Her people, her and Bellamy's, and the Arkers were all on ground now and her mom was alive. She was so happy about that. Not that she had forgiven her but one parent was so much better than none.

It has been a while since she could just sit down and observe every one. They were at a fragile peace with the Grounders now, and together they have successfully rescued the people from Mount Weather. There was peace although there were still so much trouble and issues waiting to get solved, but there was peace. And that was more than any of them have had since they landed on Earth. They needed to build a place, start living and just find themselves again. They were not there yet but they were on their way. And she had all the faith they'd get there.

* * *

She saw Finn pacing up to her with two cups in his hands. He sat down next to her and she smiled at him. She was still tense around him but he was getting better and she knew he was suffering immensely because of what he did. Clarke was more often than not at war when it came to her feelings about him. She used to love him but now she wasn't so sure anymore. What he did was terrible and it was war, yes, but still, those were unarmed people, old people and children and that was something she just couldn't forget. Forgive, yes, but not forget.

"I thought you might want some tea," Finn offered her one cup, while sipping from his own cup.

They were becoming friends again and Clarke wasn't stupid, she knew he still had feelings for her. He made that more than clear. But she just couldn't go back to that. She wanted to, probably – it felt good back then, to have someone, to be happy and in love, but she just didn't know if she had it in her. Maybe she should move on, move past it and give him another chance. He had grovelled; he had tried to fix what he has done. He wasn't a bad person, he had just snapped that day. And he was only looking for their friends, for her. Which somehow made it worse.

"Thanks," she said and took the cup.

Finn smiled, probably considering this as a victory. He started talking about something but she wasn't really paying attention. Clarke started thinking about the plants she needed to collect next day, they had some medicine left but they needed to go and get some more seaweed and some other plants that came in handy. She should probably ask Bellamy to go with her, they always worked best together. Not that she wasn't able to go out and get them herself but it was always better if she had some company. And he seemed to like it when he got out of the camp for a few hours. Clarke smiled when she remember how she slipped on some mud the last time they went out and he just laughed at her. She didn't think it was funny back then, but his laugh had been so carefree that she couldn't hold it against him. She liked his laugh.

She sometimes noticed – she was sure he didn't know, but she did – how his gaze lingered on her, how he touched her for a few seconds longer than necessary and how his gaze always seemed to warm up when he saw her.

Yet, he never did anything else and sometimes she wondered if she wanted him to. But no, it didn't matter, they were friends. And that was how it was supposed to be.

Finn touched her knee, "So you agree?" He had a hopeful look on his face.

Clarke had no idea what he was talking about, "Sorry, what?"

"I want to try something, will you please let me," Finn asked.

Clarke just nodded unsure.

He leaned closer and her heart started beating faster. "Finn, what …" but she didn't get to finish her question because in the next second he was kissing her. She was too surprised and since her mouth was already open, because he had cut her off mid-sentence, that gave him the chance to deepen the kiss.

And Clarke closed her eyes and reciprocated the kiss; to give him, them, a chance.

He kept kissing her but she didn't feel it. Finn slowly pulled back, smiling. Clarke was just looking at him confused.

"Hmm," was the only thing she said.

"See, we can get it back. I know you still feel it, Clarke, it would be stupid to just let it go." He was all happy but Clarke didn't feel anything. She was surprised, but she felt nothing.

"Hmm," she said again.

She took a sip of her tea and looked past Finn. And what she saw made her stop in her movements. She saw Bellamy shooting daggers at Finn's back and storming into his tent as he threw away his cup.

Oh.

Crap.

Clarke didn't like what she was feeling in that moment. Her heart started beating crazily and she regretted what she had done, what she had let Finn do.

No. She didn't need this, she didn't want this, but all she wanted, needed in that moment was to go to Bellamy. She tore her gaze from where Bellamy disappeared just moments ago and looked at Finn.

He was still clueless.

"I'm sorry, Finn, but I can't." She looked at him, trying to convey her feelings. "I just can't."

"But Clarke," he started and this time it was her that cut him off. "No, I'll admit we had something. I think I even loved you, I really did, but I can't anymore. I don't anymore. It's too late and there is no going back for us."

She stood up slowly and Finn was looking at her like he didn't know her. "I'm sorry," she said again and walked away. She downed half of her tea and spit the rest out, rinsing her mouth.

She was battling an internal war. Was this a good idea? She knew she made the right decision with Finn, but she wasn't sure if she was making the right one now. When has this happened? When did she start having feelings for Bellamy? But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense.

She thought about these past few months, ever since she had found out he was still alive. How happy and relieved that had made her, how devastated she had been when she had thought he'd been killed. How they kept close ever since, looking after one another, working together, becoming … something. She always needed to be close, just to see he is alive and safe. Just to see he is breathing.

She wasn't sure what she was doing, what she was feeling, but she was feeling something. She knew, even if she wasn't so keen on admitting it, that she loved it when he laughed, that she enjoyed every minute she spent with him, that sometimes she has caught herself looking at him, his strong arms, his freckles, his eyes. _Shit_.

But was it smart to get involved with someone again? Was she ready for Bellamy? Because it was one thing to be his friend, but she knew it would be a completely different thing to be more. Bellamy burned with passion and she knew now already that if they did that, it wouldn't be easy, it wouldn't be smooth sailing. They'd fight and they'd scream but they'd also love with a passion that could consume. But was that really such a bad thing? And she realized the thought excited her, it made her happy and she knew she needed to follow through. Her heart almost leaped out of her chest and she'll be going crazy if she wouldn't do something.

Finn may have kissed her but all that kiss did was open her eyes. It wasn't his lips she wanted on hers, if wasn't his face she dreamt about, it wasn't his touch she craved.

_Fuck. _

* * *

Clarke stopped outside Bellamy's tent and took one deep breath.

Here it goes.

She stepped inside, but was greeted with his back. She saw his back straighten and harden, she heard his breathing.

"Now is not a good time, princess," he said, trying to sound all nonchalantly. She smiled a little because even though he wasn't looking at her, he knew it was her standing there. And he called her princess, he hasn't done that in a while, which meant his walls were up.

"This is important, Bellamy," Clarke said.

"It can wait till tomorrow," he said, refusing to turn around.

"It really can't," Clarke insisted.

"Don't you have a boyfriend to bother," he snapped, turning around. There was fire in his eyes, rage and dare she hope jealousy. She saved this moment somewhere in the back of her mind; she'd need it to tease him later.

"No, I don't," she said calmly.

"Well, didn't look like that a few minutes ago," the worst got the better of him and she saw his internal battle clear as day. She knew him well by now and knew this must have cost him. To be honest, she really didn't know he felt this much for her. She knew he loved her, but she didn't really realize he loved her more than simply as a friend. Okay, maybe she did a little.

"That was Finn trying to prove a point. At which he failed miserably, by the way," Clarke explained. She was starting to get nervous, she wasn't used to this, didn't have much relationship experience.

"I don't care," said Bellamy. "So, just say tell me what you want."

_Obviously_, Clarke thought.

She wanted to explain but she didn't know how. This was the hard part and she didn't know how to start, so she just took one step closer. And then another.

"What are you doing," Bellamy took a step back. The mighty king was in a vulnerable position and she honestly didn't want to make this hard on him but she didn't know how to say what she needed to say, so it was best she just showed him.

"Just let me do something," she said in a low voice and took another step forward. "You can throw me out afterwards, I promise."

She was stood inches away from him; breathing heavily.

Bellamy was not exactly unaffected either.

"Clarke, what are you doing?" he asked.

Oh, so she was Clarke now. Walls were down.

"Just shut up," she said and grabbed his shirt.

They kept looking at one another for a second longer and then Clarke couldn't take it anymore and just pulled him to her. She brought his lips to hers. The first thing she noticed was that his lips were so soft, which went against the fact that his body was so hard and he was so strong, yet he had the softest lips.

The second thing was how his lips fit hers. And then she stopped thinking all together because Bellamy responded and grabbed her hips and pulled her into him. He opened his mouth and deepened the kiss.

Clarke sighed into his mouth and tangled her tongue with his. He felt divine and they just continued kissing. Her arms went around his shoulders and she couldn't get close enough. Bellamy pushed her against a makeshift table and set her on in.

She opened her legs and let him in, crossing her ankles behind his back, while continuing to devour him.

His hands came up to her face, he smoothed away her hair and ran one hand though it while running one finger down her cheek. It was getting hot and she wanted more.

Bellamy turned his head to the other side and she shifted appropriately, accommodating him. He bit her lower lip a bit and ran his tongue over it and she shivered. She felt on fire, her heart was beating furiously and she couldn't get enough. She moaned and he groaned in response.

He pulled back, "Clarke," he started but she just pushed him towards her again and kissed him some more. He didn't need much convincing and was kissing her with abandon again. It felt so good, it felt so right.

"What are you doing," he asked and went back to kissing her.

"What I want," she breathed against his lips, "What I need," she tangled her hands into his hair, pulling him even closer.

"Don't play games, Clarke," he said, his swollen lips returning to hers.

"I'm not," she sneaked one hand under his T-shirt, up his front and to the back.

"We do this, there is no going back." He returned the favour by moving his hands under her shirt. She was on fire.

"No going back," she agreed. She started kissing his neck, he tasted deliciously and she was humming in appreciation.

"Make no mistake, I'm not Finn," she froze for a second but he continued with unhooking her bra. "I won't let you go."

She pulled off his shirt in answer. "Good."

"You'll be mine," he warned, pulling away, looking her into the eyes.

They were serious in this moment. He was giving her an out. The thing he hasn't realized yet was that she didn't want it. She wanted this, she wanted him – now, tomorrow and then next week. For as long as he'll have her.

"Yours," she nodded without a sliver of doubt in her voice. And that was when Bellamy smiled, a real smile, a happy smile.

"Good," he said and pulled her back into him. His cupped her face lovingly and sealed their lips into a tender kiss, the most loving one until now. Clarke smiled into the kiss, she made the right choice.

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**Hope you liked it. Let me know! :)**


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